One of the most common things people say to me before their first session is some version of: “I don’t really know what I’m supposed to do.” They’ve decided coaching might help. They’ve booked the call. And then a quiet anxiety sets in about what actually happens next. What do I say? Do I prepare anything? Will it feel awkward? Is there a process, or does the coach just… talk at me?
Knowing what to expect from a life coaching session matters. Not knowing creates a low-level dread that gets in the way of showing up fully, which is the only way coaching works. So I want to walk you through exactly what happens with me, from the moment you make contact to what a regular session looks like once we’re a few weeks in.
I’m Olive Pellington, a John Maxwell certified life coach in Birmingham. I’ve been working with adults, teens, and schools for over ten years. I’ve been featured in IE Today Magazine, on Connections Radio, and on The Sylbourne TV show. I’ve sat with a lot of people in that “I’m not sure what I’m walking into” moment, and every single time, the thing that helps most is simply knowing the shape of what’s ahead.
So let me tell you exactly what happens.
Before the First Session: The Free Discovery Call
Before any paid session, I always offer a free discovery call. This is not a sales call. I want to be clear about that because the distinction matters.
A sales call is designed to get you to commit. A discovery call is designed to help both of us work out whether working together makes sense. Those are genuinely different things.
The call typically runs between 20 and 30 minutes. I’ll ask you a small number of focused questions: what’s brought you to coaching right now? What would you like to be different in your life, your work, or how you feel about yourself? What have you already tried? Is there something specific you want to focus on, or is it more of a general sense that something needs to shift?
You don’t have to have polished answers to any of those questions. You don’t need to arrive with a well-formed goal. Many people contact me with nothing more specific than “I feel stuck” or “I know I need to change something but I don’t know what.” That’s a perfectly valid starting point. In fact, the vagueness itself is often useful information.
You should also be asking me questions. What’s my approach? Have I worked with anyone in your situation before? What does a typical session look like? How will we know if it’s working? These are all good questions and I’ll answer all of them.
At the end of the call, we both make a decision. If it feels like a good fit, we talk about next steps. If it doesn’t, I’ll be honest with you, and if I think someone else could help you better, I’ll say so. There is no obligation in either direction.
Preparing for Your First Session
Practically speaking, there is nothing you need to bring. No notes, no lists, no prepared agenda. My sessions are available in person in Birmingham or online via video call, and both work just as well depending on what suits you.
The one thing that helps is your mindset going in. Try to arrive with a genuine willingness to answer questions honestly rather than with answers you’ve already prepared. Coaching works through the quality of the thinking you do in the room, and that thinking only goes somewhere interesting when it’s real rather than rehearsed.
It is also completely fine to arrive not knowing exactly what you want to work on. A number of my clients have shown up to the first session saying precisely that. What I’ve come to understand is that not knowing what you want is often itself the thing worth exploring. It can be a signal that clarity is what you need before anything else, and helping you find that clarity is entirely within the scope of what we do together.
What Happens in the First Session
The first session has a particular character that’s different from what comes later. We’re building the foundation. I want to understand your world, not just your presenting problem.
Where are you now?
We usually start here. Not a comprehensive life review, but a grounded, honest picture of your current situation. What’s working? What’s not? What’s the gap between where you are and where you want to be? I’m listening carefully in this part of the session, not just to the content of what you’re saying but to how you talk about it, what you emphasise, what you gloss over.
What would you like to be different?
This is typically the first real question. It sounds simple, but it often opens up a lot. People discover in answering it that what they thought they wanted and what they actually want aren’t quite the same thing. That gap, between the stated goal and the real goal underneath it, is frequently where the most important work happens.
Exploring what’s underneath
Once we’ve identified something worth working on, we go deeper. I’m not trying to get you to a solution quickly. I’m trying to help you understand the situation more fully than you currently do. This is done through questions, not advice. I might ask: what’s making this difficult? What have you tried before and why do you think it didn’t work? What would have to be true for this to feel easy? What are you afraid of in this situation?
These are not trick questions. They are questions designed to help you find what you already know but haven’t yet said out loud. That happens more often than you might expect.
What you’re taking away
Towards the end of the session, we identify one clear insight or one concrete action. It doesn’t have to be big. It has to be genuine. Something you are actually going to do or think about before we next meet.
What I do not do
I do not tell you what to do. I do not give advice. I do not diagnose anything, offer therapeutic support, or suggest that I know what your life should look like. My job is to help you think, not to think for you. If what you share suggests you would benefit more from therapeutic support than coaching, I will say that directly and help you find the right person.
What a Typical Ongoing Session Looks Like
Once we’re working together regularly, sessions settle into a rhythm. Each one is 60 minutes, and most clients prefer a fortnightly cadence, which gives enough time for something to actually happen between sessions without so much time passing that momentum drops.
We open with a check-in on the commitment you made at the close of the previous session. What did you do? What got in the way? What did you notice? This isn’t about holding you to account in a punishing way. It’s about taking seriously the things you said mattered to you, because that’s where progress actually lives.
From there, the session topic is led by you. What do you most want to focus on today? That might be directly connected to what we’ve been working on, or it might be something completely new that’s come up since we last spoke. We follow what’s live and real for you, not a pre-set curriculum.
The coaching conversation then unfolds in the way I’ve described above, through exploration, questioning, and identifying what you’re taking away. We close with a clear commitment for the coming fortnight. Something specific, something realistic, and something you’ve chosen rather than something I’ve assigned.
How to Get the Most from Your Sessions
A few things I’ve noticed make a consistent difference:
Be honest about what you didn’t do. If you committed to something between sessions and it didn’t happen, say so. That’s not a failure to confess, it’s the most interesting thing to explore. What got in the way is usually more revealing than what went smoothly.
Bring real situations, not abstract questions. “How do I become more confident?” is a much harder conversation to have usefully than “I have a presentation to my senior team next Thursday and I’m already convinced I’ll freeze.” The concrete and specific is always more productive than the general and theoretical.
Allow silence. I sometimes ask questions and then wait. That pause can feel uncomfortable. Stay in it. The answer that comes after a proper silence is almost always more honest than the one that comes immediately.
Don’t arrive with a speech prepared. The most useful thing you can bring is openness, not a script. Coaching works when you’re thinking in real time, not delivering a version of your situation you’ve already polished.
What Clients Often Notice After Sessions
People sometimes find it difficult to describe what happens in coaching until they’ve experienced a few sessions. The most consistent thing I hear is that the questions stay with them. Something I asked in the session is still running in the background three days later. That’s not an accident. A well-placed question changes the quality of the thinking you do on your own, not just in the room.
The other thing clients often describe is a specific kind of clarity. Things they’ve been circling for months, decisions they’ve been avoiding, patterns they’ve been vaguely aware of, can suddenly feel much more legible. Not necessarily solved, but understood in a way that makes action feel possible.
And the commitment structure changes behaviour. When you have said, out loud, to another person, that you are going to do a specific thing before you next meet, the likelihood that you actually do it increases significantly. That structure is one of the practical reasons coaching works when trying to change something alone often doesn’t.
Frequently Asked Questions
What should I talk about in a life coaching session?
Bring whatever feels most alive or most pressing for you. There is no wrong topic. Most clients find that what they thought they wanted to talk about shifts once we start, and that’s fine. The coaching conversation is designed to help you find what matters most, not just address a pre-planned agenda.
Is everything in a life coaching session confidential?
Yes. What you share in our sessions stays between us. I don’t share client information with anyone. The only exception would be if I had serious concerns about your safety or the safety of someone else, and I would always tell you that clearly. Confidentiality is the foundation of the coaching relationship. Without it, the honest conversation that makes coaching useful simply isn’t possible.
What if I don’t know what I want to work on?
That is a completely valid place to start. You don’t need a clear goal to begin coaching, just a genuine sense that something needs to change. In fact, some of the most productive first sessions I’ve had have been with people who arrived saying exactly that. Finding the goal is often the first piece of work we do together, and it’s work worth doing properly rather than assuming you already know the answer.
Ready to See What a Session Actually Feels Like?
The best way to understand coaching is to experience it. I offer a free discovery call, a real conversation, not a pitch, where we can explore what you’re working with and whether we’re a good fit.
Visit the free consultation page to get in touch, call me on 07505 784546, or email info@ovpcoaching.co.uk.
If you’d like to read more before getting in touch, you might find these helpful:
- What life coaching is and how it works
- How much life coaching costs in the UK
- Signs you need a life coach right now
- The full range of life coaching services I offer
Whatever’s brought you here, I’m glad you’re looking into it.